If you think strength equates to being rigid and unbending, think again. Actually, there’s real strength in being supple, flexible, and ready to adapt. And when it comes to being resilient, it’s got much more to do with flexibility than steely fortitude.

What this means is that you give a little more rein to your emotions, instead of trying to shut them out in favour of clear-cut logic and reason - that’s a leftover habit from the managerial training of the past. So we should try to step away from black-and-white thinking and judging everything as either 100% right or wrong. When we view things in a range of greys, we may achieve more valuable insights.

Asking for help isn’t a sign of weakness

It’s the same with hard-driving leaders seeking the peak of perfection in everything. They can often be too hard on themselves, as well as on others. It’s actually more helpful not to aim for perfection – it’s almost impossible to achieve and you’ll be doomed to spending a lot of time feeling disappointed. You’ll also be less able to feel empathy with those who aren’t high achievers. It’s better to acknowledge what you can’t control. Instead of dwelling on our failures, we should learn valuable lessons from them. And always feel able to ask for help. For those conditioned to be independent and self-reliant, asking for help can pose a big psychological block. Asking for help isn’t a sign of weakness, but of emotional maturity.

Conference Coming Up?

Why not book Carole Spiers as a high-impact motivational speaker on managing change, building resilience and reducing stress – see her in action at

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